An Apology Letter to My Blog

Dear Blog,

How are you? I know it’s been a while since I last wrote on you. Well, I’ve been busy and living my life. As a result, I had to forgo some of the things that brought me great pleasure, especially you. It’s not my intention to forget you. You’re still my wonderful place on the World Wide Web where I can share my deepest thoughts, rants and rambles.

But, if I’m being completely honest, I’ve been cold to you. I have also been busy, and most of all, happy. So happy that I did not feel the need to pour my daily thoughts and happenings to you. I know I have neglected you, and for that I am truly and utterly sorry.

As the year is coming to a close, I promise to give you my full attention again, and take you out more. I promise to never neglect and forget you, my faithful friend. In good times and bad, I pledge to let you in more, and communicate better with one another. I will learn to treasure you again and appreciate everything that you have done for me.

I sincerely apologise for my behaviour once again. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. It’s my hope that we can move on from this and rediscover the magic in our relationship.

Sincerely,

Michelle L.

Read More... An Apology Letter to My Blog

What I have learned as an Educator

I used the word educator because I am not a teacher. I am just merely someone that works with kids of all ages with different abilities and characteristics, as well as learning needs and styles. I am not going to start off by saying working with kids is like the best job in the word, because in all honesty, it’s really not.

I have good lessons, and then I have bad lessons. The kind of lessons that just gets out of control. Before I know it, I start raising my voice in an attempt to maintain my sanity and control in the classroom. I’ve been stressed out. Oh boy, I’ve been stressed. Sleepless nights doing lesson plans and worksheets have been pretty common. I have spent hours doing a lesson plan only to have it go out the window in the first 10 minutes of the lesson. I have created Maths worksheets according to kid’s abilities; developed English exercises based on their interests, and joined in when they play Pac-Man, Hang Man, or whatever games that tickle their fancy. I have had to lecture them when they forgot to do their work, striking a balance between voicing my disappointment and showing some compassion. Sounds easy, but it’s not.

I have done silly things to embarrass myself in order to get them to do work. I remember telling a group of kids that I will hop on one foot, and rub both my tummy and my head simultaneously, as long as they have their PENS in their HANDS, and their ELBOW on the TABLE, busy writing their story. You know what they did instead? They GIGGLED, and GIGGLED, and GIGGLED. You know what I did? I GIGGLED, and GIGGLED, and GIGGLED with them. “You’re funny!”, they screamed with delight. Long story short, not much work was done during that lesson.

I’ve been strict with them. I have also been harsh. They would hate me, and is not afraid to tell me so. “This is boring”, “I hate this”, or even “I’m not going to listen to you!” I’ve heard it before. I have given them more homework as a form punishment, which backfired on me. I have chatted with them about their lives, and they have even told me all about a movie they recently saw with great detail. I have taught them the dance moves to "All About That Bass", and they have taught me how to play PS3. Most importantly, they have realized that I am human just like the rest of them. I recently helped a student that is studying Social Work at university, with her assignment about One Direction. Luckily for her, I am young enough to know who they are, and we discussed about Harry Styles' relationship with Taylor Swift and their controversy on Twitter. She was shocked and could not fathom how I know more about One Direction than her. "Do I really look that old?" I asked her, in which she replied with a nod, and a cheeky grin.

I’ve been called a Mum, and I’ve also been called a Dad. I am neither, I am not yet a teacher, but I am an educator. I motivate and cultivate a positive learning environment for those I am willing to help. I nurture their passion, and help them overcome their weaknesses. I do it because I love them. I love their eagerness to learn, their ability to make me laugh, and their persistence to try harder to reach their learning goal.

Read More... What I have learned as an Educator

Imagining a world with no sadness, pain and fear.

We live in a world filled with unexpected phenomenons, and undesirable events. Tragedies, accidents and mysteries around the world constantly fill our news feed. Stories of happiness and miracles are rare, yet stories filled with sadness, pain or fears are dramatized to an extent.  

Imagine a perfect world with no sadness, no pain, and no fear.

A world where hurt is never felt and tears are never dropped. A world where everyone smiles and never frown. A world where there is only good and failures and disappointments are non-existent. A world where there are no demons and monsters. A world with no politics, war and poverty. A world where the notion of ugly and fat does not exist. A world where there is no such thing as racism, harassment and discrimination. A world where everyone is equal and there is no hatred and suffering.

Would this perfect world be worth living in?

In a perfect world, it is full of happiness. We never stop smiling because we know nothing but a smile. We feel nothing because we are already fulfilled. We will never experience sadness because all we know is the feeling of happiness. Our feeling of happiness is our constant state of mind, we don’t feel anything else.

In a perfect world, there is no suffering. A world with no suffering is a world with no heart. How do we care for something when we never feel pain and sadness? How can we know love if we don’t know hate? How can we fix something when there is nothing to fix? How do we know strength when we don’t experience pain?

In a perfect world, there is no real happiness. We won’t know what it is like to be truly happy without sadness. 

In a perfect world, we are inhumane. 

Because a perfect world with no sadness, pain and fear does not exist. 

Our sadness, pain and fear are part of our everyday life. They are inevitable but they make us human. They encompass our perfect world. We cannot have light without darkness. It is a constant balance that we face every day. Our pain and suffering enables us to know what the feeling of true happiness is. To feel the pain of birth is to know that the child is yours. To a life of tragedy is to give you the strength to survive. To lose a loved one is to know what love and appreciation is. To suffer from an illness is to know that we are staying alive. A world with sadness, pain and fear teaches us the true meaning of happiness. A world with sadness, pain and fear also teaches us that we should strive for a better world.

Read More... Imagining a world with no sadness, pain and fear.

#100 Happy Days; Day 7

Happiness is satisfying every Malaysians craving.

#100 Happy Days, Day 7

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#100 Happy Days; Day 6

Happiness is the feeling after a workout in the dark.

#100 Happy Days, Day 6

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#100 Happy Days; Day 5

Happiness is finally being able to eat dinner.

#100 Happy Days, Day 5

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#100 Happy Days; Day 4

Happiness is riding my new bike and trying not to fall.

#100 Happy Days, Day 4

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#100 Happy Days; Day 3

Happiness is getting things done.

#100 Happy Days, Day 3

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#100 Happy Days; Day 2

Happiness is winning in something that you never expected.

#100 Happy Days, Day 2

First time lucky. :)

Read More... #100 Happy Days; Day 2

#100 Happy Days; Day 1

Happiness is still being able to cope.

#100 Happy Days, Day 1

Today, I bumped into a friend who I came to know who was doing the same course as me. I happened to realized that I haven't seen him in any of my classes lately. He told me he had decided to discontinue his course as he found it too difficult for him. We had a great chat as I advised him what to do next and what path to take. He is an intelligent kind man, and I am very sure he will do very well in any future endeavours. As our conversation draws to a close, I wished him the best of luck and he told me that I am going to do great. His words meant a lot and I felt grateful that I am still coping with my course. His positivity was really inspiring. Thank you. :)

Read More... #100 Happy Days; Day 1

#100HappyDays; Staying Happy

www.100happydays.com

I recently stumbled upon The 100 Happy Days challenge where participants are challenged to stay happy for 100 days and post pictures on various platforms to share their happiness. The beauty of this increasingly popular challenge is that it is not a competition but it is a challenge, a challenge that may change your life for the better.

It's free and you can register at their website: www.100happydays.com

To engage myself in staying happy and appreciating the little things in life, I will be sharing one photo that makes me happy for the next 100 days on this blog and Instagram (@michieemichelle) with the hash tag #Michelle100HappyDays, and all my written blog posts for the rest of April will be dedicated to happiness. So lets all strive to stay happy and positive as best as we can! :)

What I want out of this challenge
I hope to explore how often I can stay happy, and share one thing or one moment that made my day. I hope to motivate others to look for the thing that is going right in their lives, rather than focusing on the negatives. I am not the happiest person, and lately I have been rather moody with all the stress of school work, assignments, lesson planning and what not. I hope this challenge will change my view of the blessed life I have and my happiness in life for the better. I have got nothing to lose and everything to gain.

How likely will I succeed in this challenge
To be honest, with assignments, work, placements and other responsibilities, I would be surprised if I lasted a full 7 days. However, with a low expectation, I may surprise myself!

Why should others attempt this challenge
Life is a journey, not a destination. We go through ups and downs, with every challenge we face in life. This challenge will influence everyone to find the happiness in our lives, whether we are 16, 30 or even 50. At the end of this challenge, we will hopefully have 100 moments of happiness to remember.

Read More... #100HappyDays; Staying Happy

That one kid in the classroom

I had the experience of having that one kid in the classroom. He does not want to study to go to uni. He wants to just get out there and work.

That one kid that disrupts the class.

"Miss, I don't have a pencil"..

"Miss, I don't know what I need to do"..

He feels unmotivated.

He is not there to learn, or listen.


When do you, as a teacher running the class give up? Or do you not give up and push them to work hard and flourish as individuals.

I think he is a great kid, and I know he has a lot of potential. I can see it.

He wants to work, great. However, the skills he learn in the classroom will carry him throughout his working life.

So, here's to you. You have your whole life ahead of you, and trust me, if you just put a little bit of effort in, it will make a world of difference.

Read More... That one kid in the classroom

8 Things You Must Do When You Are Single

Being single should not be depressing and lonely. Being single should instead be celebrated because these are the times we find out who we are, before we eventually settle down. Here are 8 things you must do when you find yourself single:

1. Let it go
The first thing you must do is often the hardest, but it is the most crucial. Don't hang on to the past relationship. It ended for a reason so take time to self-reflect and evaluate what went wrong but don't keep dwelling on it. You have so much to live for, and you will only start feeling better after you finally let it go.

2. Learn to live alone
There is something refreshing and invigorating about being self-sufficient and living alone happily. Sure, it may be nice to have someone take care of you at times. But for now, you have got to learn to rely on yourself and be happy on your own, before finding someone that meet your needs. You will get to know yourself, what you like and dislike, and evolve as a person.
      
3. Spend time with couples
Going out with a couple can really help put things into perspective, especially married couples. It reminds you of what you are looking for in your next relationship. Watch them interact with each other and how they treat each other on a daily basis. Being single is the time to learn, and who better to learn from than other couples. Be happy for other couples/married friends and be satisfied in where you're at today. 

4.  Go out on dates
Being single doesn't mean you can't have fun. You deserve to go out and be wined and dined. Remember to keep it casual and don't jump into the rebound territory. Have fun, flirt and discover the opposite sex.

5. Be adventurous
We normally are tamed when we enter into a relationship, so singlehood should be the time to be bad and do things you never would do. Do things that make you feel young and carefree.
      
6. Concentrate on career or school
Take the energy that you would have spent on your relationship, and put it into your career or school. Take up extra projects at work, or concentrate on your school assignments. 

7. Improve yourself
Try to constantly improve yourself. If you are out of shape, work out. Change your hair color or hair style. Most importantly, it also means being more positive and open. Being more happy and less critical of yourself.

8. Look forward to the future
You never know what the future holds, so have fun and look forward to the future. Be opportunistic and seize the moment. Be grateful for your family and friends, and live life with no regrets. Always be positive because someone awesome will come along and you will be ready for them.

Read More... 8 Things You Must Do When You Are Single

8 signs he is not worth dating.

Ever been confused by a guy? After every date, you just feel more unsure and can't quite work out why. You like him, but you don't know if you want to date him. Here are some signs that he is not worth dating, and better yet, he is not worth your time.

1. He doesn't commit.
   You have no idea how he is feeling or even what he wants. He tries to avoid the topic every time you bring it up. He may not want to lose you altogether, but he is not serious about you either and wants to keep playing the field.

2. He doesn't plan.
    Girls love guys that plan dates, but yet sometimes a little bit of spontaneity is great too. If he only calls you at night asking you to come over for a drink, then you better run!!

3. He doesn't call.
    A call represents something more personal than just a mere text. If he is just texting you with messages and refuse to ever call you, it means he does not want to form a personal connection towards you.

4. He is not over the ex.
  We have all been there. We forget the fact that he just recently came out of a serious relationship and is still not over his ex. We hope that we can be the girl that is so unique and special that he finally moves on. Please don't settle to be the rebound. It's never fun and it will hurt your poor heart in the long run.

5. He needs attention to feel good.
   If he needs the attention and validation from other women constantly just to know that he still "got it", he is so not worth it. Guys like these will care more about making their ego happy, than making you happy.

6. He is needy and clingy.
  He needs to understand that you have a life, and he has a life too. Don't let a guy be all needy and control you, you might feel suffocated.

7. He doesn't ask about you.
If he just talks all about himself, and doesn't even ask "how are you", consider him done. A simple question like "how is your day" shows that he cares. If he doesn't care about you, why would you keep dating him?!

8. He only wants to have sex.
If all your dates involves somehow going back to his place, that is a huge red sign. Get out while you still can, unless you prefer the casual no-strings attached fling.


Note: This list can apply to women as well.

Read More... 8 signs he is not worth dating.

Things I wished I knew before I went to University

University is an exciting chapter in one's life. Even before one enters university, there are anticipations, nervousness and fears about how one would cope. Am I going to make friends? Will it be too hard? Am I ready?

But fear not, I am here to help you calm those nerves of yours and ensure that you are well prepared before taking the big step into university.

I have here some tips I wished I knew before I started my undergrad year, and hopefully it would serve you future scholars well.

1. Take a gap year.
    Don't rush into making that big decisions on what course to study/ what to major in, and which university to go to. If you are not sure what you want to do as a career, choosing a course your friends are doing or what your parents tell you to do is not the way to go. Think about it, who is going to spend the next couple of years studying the course? No one else but you. So make sure you have a good think and do not let anyone else influence your decision.

    If you feel that you are not ready to spend the next few years studying, then take a GAP YEAR. Take a year off. You deserve it. Go on an adventure, go backpacking overseas, do volunteer work. Take your time to find out where your interest and passion lies.

2. Make a lot of friends.
    University is the time to make friends. You will meet people from all sorts of background. Some may even be your lifelong friends. To meet people with similar interests as you, join a club. Join as many clubs as you want. Also, start building your network. Trust me, your network will serve to be a great tool to establish your future career.

3. Get help.
    Starting university means being in a new environment. Some people may not cope well especially in the few weeks. If you are struggling, seek help. Immediately. If you need help with any areas of your studies, ask for help. There will be specific people who would be able to help you depending on what you need help in. Take note of these key people when you attend your orientation.

Form study groups if you find yourself struggling to grasp the concepts of what you are learning, Study groups are amazing as you can share and discuss your ideas among your peers. Be wary about forming study groups with students who procrastinate and seem to enjoy socializing more than actually studying.
   
4. Participate in study tours.
    Take the opportunity to do a study exchange programs/tours overseas for a semester if its possible. This will most definitely make you stand out from the crowd, not to mention it would look amazing on your resume.

5. Get a part time job.
    Working while studying may seem counterproductive, but it is actually necessary to build up your working experience. With any part time job whether it be working at a fast food joint or as a strawberry picker, you will develop the skills and attributes of a good employee. These include skills in leadership, communication, planning or organisation.

6. Research the job opportunities in your field of study.
    Even though you just started your degree, start looking at what job ads in your field of study is looking for. Take note of the position requirements and start developing the skills they want.

7. Apply for graduate programs.
    During your final year, start applying for graduate programs. Do not wait until after you graduate to apply for graduate programs.

8. Avoid distraction.
    It is normal to procrastinate and get distracted at time. Try not to put yourself in a situation where it will impact your studies. For example, if you have an assignment due on Monday and you still have not started on it, attending that big party over the weekend may not be the best idea.

9. Enjoy every moment of it.
    Last but not least, enjoy university. It may be hard work, but it is worth it in the end.

Read More... Things I wished I knew before I went to University

Your Number One Deal Breaker

Everyone should have their own deal breakers, some characteristic or attribute of someone so significant enough for you to end the relationship or courtship. It can range from a lack of chemistry, different life values and goals, height difference, incompatibility, a smoking habit, or even different music tastes. I personally think it is necessary to have a few deal breakers. You need to know what you want and what you don't want, and deal breakers are a part of what you cannot put up with in a relationship and is not willing to settle for. There is nothing wrong with breaking it off because a guy/girl doesn't meet some expectations that are important to you. However, there is a difference between a couple of deal breakers and unrealistic expectations.

There is one deal breaker I think everyone should put on top of the list as it is the most important of all. I read somewhere a long time ago that you should look for someone who knows how to love well. 

Finding someone who knows how to love well seems pretty broad. But lets ask ourselves the big question, what is love? 

According to the most famous definition of love; "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs".

Therefore, to find someone who knows how to love well is to find someone who possesses all the following characteristics:

1. He/she must be patient

    Patience is a virtue. Having someone who is patient is hard to come by. There is nothing better than someone who is patient with you even when you are complaining about a bad day or in a bad mood.

2. He/she must be kind

    A person who is kind-hearted will put your needs above others, they will show empathy and relates to how other people feel and how their actions will affect others. 

3. He/she does not envy

   A little jealousy shows that they care, but too much jealousy can pose a big insecurity. If he/she is not easily envious, it shows that he/she has the maturity and is comfortable with being themselves.

4. He/she does not boast

   There is nothing worst than someone that enjoys boasting and feels the need to toot their own horns. If they are really that great, they should show you. There is nothing wrong with someone having high self-esteem but it is important for a girl/guy to be able to demonstrate a little bit of humility.

5. He/she is not proud

   Similar to being boastful, being proud is like being arrogant. There is a difference between feeling good about something you accomplished and thinking you are better than everyone around you. Would you put up with a guy/girl that thinks they are way better or way more successful than you?

6. He/she does not dishonor others

  To dishonor others is to bring shame and disgrace to others. You should always be proud of them and wanting to show them off to the world, rather than feeling humiliated and embarrassed with a guy/girl.

7. He/she is not self-seeking

   Being self-seeking is when someone is using you for their own personal benefit or interest, whether it be money, sex or something else. If someone is with you just for something they can gain from you, then they are being selfish and does not really love you for who you are.

8. He/she is not easily angered

   This is very similar to being patient. Having the occasional mood swing is fine, but if he/she is always finding faults with you, then you might want to rethink about the relationship.

9. He/she keeps no record of wrongs

   There is nothing worst than being with someone that keeps track of the number of times you stuffed up or even the number of arguments they won. Nobody is perfect. It is essential to find someone that loves you unconditionally, despite everything and does not use past wrong doings against you.

I also want to add that honesty and positivity/being ambitious are also essential traits for someone to know how to love well. If he/she is constantly lying and being negative, how are you going to trust them to take good care of you in future?

The other things like compatibility, chemistry, connection, goals and values are equally as important, but finding someone who knows how to love well should be the core of the relationship you want. 

So if someone wants to know "what's your type?", you should be able to answer without hesitation "someone who knows how to love well".

Read More... Your Number One Deal Breaker

My Asian roots

I remember distinctively one of my most meaningful conversations that I last had with my Mum and Dad occurred on New Years Day this year. It was the first day of the new year and I was driving Dad to the airport to drop him off for his flight back to Malaysia in the afternoon. On the way, all of us made a detour to Maccas (McDonalds) for a much needed breakfast. It was one of those rare moments that the three of us were sharing a meal together, even if it was a simple fast food meal.

As we ate, my Dad started advising me on job hunting and interview techniques on how best to answer interview questions. He told me that he would fully support me if I do decide to start further study on something else I might enjoy. I really appreciated him for telling me that and one of the reason he was such a great father was because he always emphasised the importance of education and higher studies for a better future. He, in itself is a success story; coming from a poor family, he made his way up to create a very successful life and career for himself.

The conversation then led onto how times have changed and kids these days don't uphold the same values that the kids had when my parents were growing up. It was honestly a surreal experience having both my parents laughing together. I would always keep those moments in my memories. During the course of the conversation, I learnt that my parents, mum especially fears that my brother and I may fully lose touch of our asian roots eventually. I, myself is proud to be asian and have never dreamt to be anyone else. I do regret not being able to learn how to speak Mandarin Chinese or Cantonese fluently, providing a language barrier between both my maternal and paternal relatives. I deeply regret not being able to get to know both my maternal grandmother and grandfather before they passed away. Even now, not being able to fully converse in Mandarin Chinese or Cantonese fluently sometimes makes me feel less of an asian.

Besides the language barrier, I was brought up the asian way. My childhood form of punishment was a huge long cane that was used whenever I misbehaved. Luckily, the scars I got from being beaten eventually faded away. If I used any swear words, my maternal grandmother would wash my mouth with soap, to "clean my mouth from the dirty word". I grew up eating rice for breakfast, lunch and dinner, which is why I am so used to eating rice on a daily basis. My parents worked all day to be able to provide for my brother and I. I grew up with countless Indonesian maids whom I grew very close to, which was the norm in Malaysia. They became the sisters I never had. My parents were busy working people, but managed to be amazing parents.

Even as I entered my awkward adolescent years with my occasional teenage acne, I was the typical asian nerd who spends way too much time in the school library. My parents paid for additional tuitions outside school hours, so I could strive in my studies. My dad even used monetary rewards as a form of motivation for getting As in all my studies. As a result, I was expected to be top in my class after every exam. I had curfews whenever I went out, which was pretty rare. Being able to date or worst, having a boyfriend was pretty much forbidden, eventually leading me to rebel against my parents by sneaking out and having massive fights when they found out.

In saying this, my asian childhood made me the person I am today. To me, I had an amazing childhood even though my parents were extremely strict. I learned to respect my parents by not answering back, and appreciate all the sacrifices that they have made for me. I still identify myself as an asian, and the asian values that I grew up with will always stay with me. I hope to one day instil that same values that I learnt to my future children.

Read More... My Asian roots

Does teaching means telling, and learning means listening?

Disclaimer: This article written is just purely based on my opinions and my insights.                                          

As Benjamin Franklin once said, "Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn."

The traditional context of teaching and learning back in the days involved the notion that teaching involves the teacher giving out instructions, and learning involves listening to the teacher. The classroom environment resembled some sort of dictatorship, where the teacher of the classroom acts as the ruler or authority figure of the classroom.

Nowadays, according to the modern classroom, this conception has been challenged with many years of extensive research by dedicated and experienced teachers into the pedagogy of teaching, which serves to be the science and art of teaching. Good teachers not only give out information to students, but they also encourage students to explore their own ideas and insights, engaging students and guiding them to think deeper about their thoughts. They also have the ability stimulate discussion based on students ideas, linking it back to the lesson topic or as they say, the bigger picture.The importance of asking open-ended and probing questions during class discussions is also highlighted in various research articles.

                                               

Effective teachers also know the role of quality learning for the students. They do not believe that learning only occurs when listening to a teacher. Learning can occur from various practical exercises such as group activities, assessments and reflection. Group activities in particular are found to be effective as it- encourages team work and collaboration among students, as well as the importance of leadership. The Think-Pair-Share learning strategy is commonly implemented in classrooms, where students are enabled to formulate their own individual ideas and share these ideas with their peers.

Another statement that highlights the importance of quality teaching is "Give a man a fish, you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you have fed him for a lifetime". Quality teaching does not mean just telling students information, and students will not learn just by listening. However, how teachers go about teaching to strengthen the learning of students are just as important. There is an extent to how much a teacher can teach, but by giving students or children the knowledge and the ability for them to help themselves, it serves to be useful for them in the long run.

I have had amazing teachers in the past and they have inspired and mentored me because of their ability to ensure that all students get quality learning based on their individual learning needs and learning styles. Through my own insights based on the amazing teachers that I have had, I believed that teaching is more than just giving out instructions to students, and quality learning does not involve just listening to the teacher.

Read More... Does teaching means telling, and learning means listening?

An Incredible Reminder of How Short Life Really Is

The recent devastating news of the missing Malaysia Airlines 777-200 that was operating flight MH370 between Kuala Lumpur and Beijing is an incredible reminder of how short life is and how the lives of your loved ones, next of kins, family and friends can be taken away in just a split second. 

The flight which departed Kuala Lumpur at 12.41am on 8 March 2014, with a total number of 227 passengers (including 2 infants) and 12 crew members on board was expected to land in Beijing at 6.30am the same day. Since the news of the tragedy which has generated international news coverage, there has been a lot of rumours and speculations on social media like Facebook as to what happened to Flight MH370 as search and rescue teams worked tirelessly to locate the missing plane. 

Did the plane crashed? Was there terrorism involved? How did airport security let two passengers board the plane using fake passports? What does the oil slick found in Vietnam waters indicate? How can a plane just disappear? Aside from the speculations, what about the families and friends of those passengers on board flight MH370? I cannot imagine how devastated by the news they must feel. To not know the whereabouts and the fate of their loved ones is just terrible for anyone to even go through. 

We often take our loved ones for granted, thinking that they would always be there like they are immortals and indestructible. The thought of losing someone so suddenly and so unexpectedly is frightening to say the least. It's almost unfair for all the passengers on board that flight with their loved ones worried sick about their safety. 

Do take a moment to think about the lives that these people left behind and the lives that they could have lived. Do remember that we as humans at times may be too embedded in our own lives with all our worries, responsibilities and commitments that we lose track of the bigger picture of life. 

Don't wait until tragedy struck to realize how important someone means to you. Don't hold grudges and don't let little things stress you out. Take it slow and let it go. Live life to the fullest and have no regrets. And please pray for the safety and wellbeing of those involved in the disappearance of flight MH370.

Michelle.

Read More... An Incredible Reminder of How Short Life Really Is

Sorry, I'm just not that into you.

I have a confession. I have a checklist of the qualities I want in an ideal partner. Cute?  Check. Has a career? Check. Mature? Check. Older? Check. Funny? Check. Great personality? Check. Patient? Check. Kind? Check. Has a great body? Check. And double check. But that's just part of my list, your list would most likely be a little different depending on who you are and what you like.

Like a lot of girls, I would start dating a guy with a carefully and thoughtfully constructed checklist at the back of my mind, ready for me to tick off. In addition to the checklist, there needs to also be connection, chemistry and compatibility above all. Whether I care to admit, I have found myself lowering my standards and expectations at times. Realizing that finding a partner that tick all the boxes on my "checklist" is unattainable, I started settling.

Sure, he has nice eyes and seems interested. He makes me laugh. Who cares if he never had a job? Who cares if he plays computer games all day? I can live with that. I can change that. I can totally support and take care of him..?

Wow this guy is super hot and a total babe. He is also an absolute genius. We get along great but I am still not attracted to him. But I don't want to lose him. Maybe my attraction will grow if I keep seeing him..?

Sound familiar?

So I put my worries and confusions aside and keep seeing him, forcing myself to be comfortable with him and develop feelings. I almost feel guilty that I'm pretty much lying to myself. I'm living a lie and he needs to know the truth before he gets hurt.

It's hard and distressing to convince myself that he is really the best guy for me when I know in my heart he isn't and I can do so much better. I like the idea of him, just not him as a person. The hardest part of it all is for me to find the strength to have the "I'm just not that into you" talk and to walk away alone. He deserved someone that really truly likes him, rather than someone that still isn't sure.The infamous response of "I thought we had something special" and "I guess I misunderstood everything" is predicted. "You are just like the rest of them", that one really hurts. It's hard, but I won't settle for less.

Read More... Sorry, I'm just not that into you.

To be or not to be afraid?

If I can sum up my week in one word, it would be FEAR. More specifically, fear of any new changes. I found myself living in a new environment, embarking on further study in a new university and having to deal with the overwhelming amount of new responsibilities bestowed upon me. With these changes in such a short amount of time, I felt lost, at times uncertain and doubtful; and familiarity quickly became something I crave.

To put it simply, how many of us has let our fears hold us back? Are we afraid of adapting to changes? Are we afraid to venture into the unknown? Are we afraid to live in uncertainty? Are we afraid of starting something new?

To point out, the words "fear" "afraid" are found in most or all the questions above. To put it rationally, fear and afraid are synonymous, and both these terms are closely associated to making changes or venturing into the unknown. We can easily let fear affect our decisions in all aspects of our lives, that is the fear of leaving a comfortable job to pursue your dream career, the fear of being alone and never finding someone better, the fear of being looked down upon, or even the fear of rejection or failure. For many of us, fear has affected our lives in a way at some point in the past or even now.

One advice that I learnt this week that has helped me tremendously is to Be brave, step outside our comfort zone, and make changes. Our 20s especially is the time for exploring, finding out more about ourselves and the sort of person we want to be. Most importantly, it is viewed upon as the time to make fundamental changes for the better and grow into the person that will hopefully inspire our children and future generations. As terrifying as it may seem,  we should step outside our comfort zone, and lead life by our rules, not by the rules inflicted upon us by society. Sometimes, choosing to face the uncertainty and embracing the change for ourselves means that we are the strong ones. The unknown is filled with many possibilities and if ever we do hit rock bottom because of a bump in the road, it will only get better.

So are you afraid of change or do you embrace it?

Read More... To be or not to be afraid?

If I were to look perfect

This post was inspired by a Youtube video I recently watched. Four women were asked to participate in a Photoshop experiment. Each woman took part in a photoshoot and their photos were photoshopped to look like cover models.

After watching the video, I find myself wondering; given the chance to look perfect, what would I look like?

Let's see: 
I would have longer legs and smaller hips.
I would have long thick shiny hair.
My skin would be flawless and makeup would be perfect.
My eyebrows arched perfectly and my cheekbones would be chiseled.

The video above sends a very powerful message to everyone out there.

Stop being so hard on yourself.

Stop being so critical.

Stop comparing yourself to everyone.

You are different. Embrace it.

As stated by one of the women in the video, "Once someone else has done your makeup and someone else has done your hair, and someone has directed the way your body looks and then taken away your imperfections, then there's not much left of who you really are."

This video has really taught me not to be too critical on myself and to be comfortable in who I am. To measure my happiness and success by how I look would be superficial and disappointing.

I am not supermodel thin nor am I athletic. I don't have perfect skin or the most defined face. I get pimples and I have acne scars. I am short sighted. I have short and straight eyelashes.  I can be awkward and quirky. My eyes squint when I smile. You know what, its okay.

Read More... If I were to look perfect

Being the naive one

Apparently, I’ve been told I am naive.

As in, I would believe anything and everything that people tell me, and I am most likely to be taken advantage off. Naive is generally not meant to be complimentary. I’m young, yes. Naive, maybe. You see, I see the good in all people. If someone has done me no wrong, I would never say a mean word about them. I am generally a happy and positive person. Yes, I am well aware of the evil, cruel world outside and that you cannot trust anyone on the street besides your family. The newspaper, TV and radio are constantly filled with sad negative stories everyday. Yes, I am well aware of all this.

But I choose to see the sunny side of things. I’ve learned to see the good in person from all walks of life. I know when I am being taken advantage off and I know when to walk away from these people. If I sense that someone is being manipulative and deceiving, I would keep my guard up and stay closed off.  I know I still have ALOT to learn and perhaps, life will throw me a few curveballs. But I would never stop seeing the good in people because sometimes we should focus on the positive side of things.

Read More... Being the naive one

Falling in love; and finding the one

Many of us dreams of finding someone, falling in love and living happily ever after. It embodies the likelihood of how successful and happy you will be in life. The phrase “behind every great man, there’s a great woman” explains that for every success that you achieved in life, it would be through the support and encouragement of your spouse or partner in life. To have that special someone, be it man or woman, gay or straight, sharing your life and dreams, and being your biggest support in helping you achieve your goals/dreams is our society’s epitome of finding happiness.

The notion of falling for someone or even finding the one is scary for some or even absolutely absurd for the skeptics or non believers. The thought of finding the elusive “one”, you know, the one you can’t imagine life without, the one who makes you happy, the one you can imagine growing old with, the one you want to marry, the one you want to have children with, may seem unattainable for a lot of people. One lesson I’ve learnt from watching How I Met Your Mother, is that it takes a lot of patience and to never lose hope. For the main character Ted Mosby, it was worth the wait (9 seasons to be exact). What I’m trying to say is that we should try to be Ted Mosby once in a while; date around, get your heart broken, make mistakes, be crazy, discover yourself, follow your dreams, and not wait around for the person to pop up into your life. As the saying goes, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince.

So after a lot of waiting, you met someone. He or she seemed nice which is great. Casual dates turned into romantic nights, which lead to weekend getaways and before you know it, you realized you are falling in love with them and you cannot imagine life without him or her. So now you wonder, what’s the next step? Is it time for a serious commitment like moving in, engagement or marriage? This begs the question, how do you know you found the one? For many, it could be a specific moment, a feeling or an action of your significant other that reinforces you like a lightbulb going off in your head. During that time, it feels right. When you know, you just know. Taking the next step is no longer scary or uncertain anymore, and you can look towards a future with them without any fear. Suddenly, the amazing connection you share with them and the life you have created together makes perfect sense.

Despite the skeptics, finding the one is possible. Life is beautiful when you are busy enjoying it by yourself, but having that special person in your life makes life more beautiful. So when you come across someone in your life that makes you happy, that makes you stronger, wiser and a better person, that wants the best for you, that is there for you always, don’t question if they are the one.

Because if they are the one, you will just know. 

Read More... Falling in love; and finding the one

Girls should date funny guys

Guys are funny creatures. They make us girls melt, they make us cry, they make us mad, they make us do outrageous things no reasonable person would do. Yet, us girls can't get enough of the male species.

My favourite among them are the funny ones. Yes, I admitted it.

No not the ones where you fake an awkward laugh when they make you feel rather uncomfortable, or the ones where you just laugh because what they are saying does not make any sense and faking a laugh seems like the only thing to do. I meant the genuinely funny guys who says the funniest things or does the weirdest things, yet make it look very entertaining. They know how to crack me up until my cheeks burn.

Yes, I would date funny guys.

Funny guys can make me laugh. They make first dates less awkward and actually fun. They keep the conversation going and I feel more like myself around them. Funny guys can impress me with their wit and charming nature, making me enjoy their company. 

Laughing is really the best medicine. Laughing makes everyone feel good from the inside. I know how it feels to be out on a date with a guy with no sense of humour, or worst, a different sense of humour. It's not fun. Sure he may look handsome and all, but funny guys has all my attention.

Would you date a funny guy?

Read More... Girls should date funny guys

A letter to my 16 year old self.

Dear 16 year old Michelle,

Hi there! There are a lot of things I want to tell you. I know you are feeling a little lost and sad right now being in a new school in Australia. You feel that you can't fit in, but its okay, as it will get better. I know you are being rebellious right now with Mum, but she is only looking out for you. So trust her as she has way more life experience than you. Some years down the line, you will really need her when you go through major life changes. Mum will also go through some heartbreak and difficulties, and during that time, please do be there for her and strive to put her feelings before yours. As for Gene, he will stay the same in the next few years. He will be all about the computer games, like any other boys his age. He will do very well in his studies though, especially during his VCE. He is a smart boy, so you don't have to worry about him. Also, tell Mum not to worry about him so much as you know how over-protective she can be.

I know you wonder about relationships and you are starting to notice boys. Don't you worry, you will go through many relationships and like most girls, you will make classic epic mistakes of being overly jealous, being clingy and needy and what not. My girl, you are still young and you still don't know what you want. You will go from relationships to another relationships before you learn from your mistakes. Half the time in these relationships, you will feel lonely and single. There is nothing wrong with walking away from a relationship that doesn't make you happy, rather than staying in it. Remember, its better to be single than be in a bad relationship. And, I know you really want to know about sex. My advise is to wait! Wait for as long as you meet the right guy because it will be all worth it. You probably feel scared and worried about love, relationship and sex. It's normal and reasonable to be scared but when the time is right, it would not be a big deal, trust me. Don't let peer pressure get to you either. There is nothing wrong with waiting because you are definitely worth it.

You will also meet new interesting people, gain new friends, and even lose old friends. You will meet people that will look down on you and overlook you. You will meet and read about people that inspire you. You will meet people that teach you lessons, and these people will bring out the best in you. You will even meet people who are really attracted to you. Don't fret about your looks. You are already beautiful. You may not think so now, but every year, you are going to feel more confident and show a lot more of your true self. Also, work on your inner beauty, personality ad character, as it will serve to be even more important than your outer beauty.

VCE will be a stressful time for you but you will get through it. Study hard and enjoy yourself at uni. Choosing a career will be tricky for you. Sometimes,  your goals will change and the career you thought you liked may not be what you want. But it will be exciting for you and take every opportunity that presents itself because not many people are as lucky as you. You will meet amazing friends at uni who will be like a brother or sister to you. They will all be different but that's the best part. By surrounding yourself with different people from different backgrounds, you learn from them and it will bring out the best in you.They will accept you as you are and be there for you. So don't change who you are to fit in with certain people, you yourself is enough. Don't push people that are important to you away, just because of stressful circumstances. When you get upset and scared in a situation, and your first instinct is to walk away and deal with the problems later, don't. It will make the problem worst later on. 

I will be lying if I tell you that your life will be perfect. It won't be easy and the next few years ahead will be filled with ups and downs. You will go through many changes in life and experience an array of emotions, but when you think it doesn't get better, it will. So my dear girl, lead a messy life and make countless mistakes. Go through ups and downs with a smile and thank everyday for the life you will lead and the people that you have.

Sincerely,

Michelle 

Read More... A letter to my 16 year old self.

What defines you?

What defines YOU?

What defines YOU as a person?

No, I'm serious, think about it for a minute.

Are you defined by your job, your status, or your lifestyle choices?

Is it your wealth or how much money you have saved up?

or is it something materialistic like how many luxury items you own?

or something aesthetic, like your weight, super curvy butt, long lean legs, or full lips?

or even your health and sexuality?

Is it the people around you, like your family, parents, boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse or friends?

or most commonly, does your past define who you are?

The people around you does not define who you are. Do you really need their affirmation or approval? Do you have to look to others for identity and a sense of belonging?

Because every time you look to others for approval, you miss the chance to define yourself. You start losing who you are and never get the chance to feel complete.

Your past does not define you. Mistakes, regrets and bad experiences do make up our past.

I, for one, has made mistakes and bad choices in many aspects of my life. I have harboured deep regrets for my actions and my words that have hurt others.

I have let my past defined who I am, and that has in turn determined my future, as I chose not to step out of that history. 

To be honest, this is an area where I struggled the most. I tend to blame myself for my actions but I have learned that my past does not define who I am. So don't let your past define you either. I know nothing can change what happened in your past or the pain you endured in your upbringing.

So what exactly defines YOU?

It's how you NOT let your past and history, and the people around you define you. When you choose to do something and step out of your past no matter who and no matter how the past has been, and not let it define how YOU live your life, that is how YOU are defined.

When you let go of any anger or resentment of how your life turned out, and choose to not give up, that is how YOU are defined.

When you accept your past and create new experiences for your future, that is how YOU are defined.

When you accept that not everyone is going to support you and you realize that you don't really need their approval, that is how YOU are defined.

Remember, you are the only person that can define who you truly are.

Read More... What defines you?

A Reason, a Season Or a Lifetime

This post was originally written in early 2013. Since it was published, it has became one of my most read post on this blog. Now I am republishing it as it was unknowingly removed.


"People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do."

This post was inspired by a poem titled "Reason, Season, or Lifetime" that I came across recently. It really struck a chord in me, as I felt that I could really relate to the poem. Have you ever met someone who initially you thought of as a stranger, or perhaps you see a person but kept walking without so much of a second glance. Perhaps their looks or appearance didn't interest you at that time, or perhaps you were in a hurry to get to some place at that moment. Now what if lets say, you somehow bumped into that same person again by chance, or you managed to speak and have a conversation with them. You talked about stuff, opened up about stuff, and got to know them more as a person and as an individual. Suddenly, this stranger that you once ignored became someone you care about, someone worthwhile and meaningful to keep in your life either as a friend, best friend, partners or lovers. 

You see, this person came into your life by chance for a REASON, but at this stage you don't know what that reason is. Perhaps, it is to meet a need that you have, provide some support that you need or teach a lesson that needs to be learnt. At that time, you don't really question what the reason is, you would just be enjoying their presence in your life. Nothing matters as you have someone in your life that you feel very lucky and grateful to have.

But this person wont last very long in your life. Maybe a disagreement, a fight or a mistake caused this relationship to end. Friendships ends, love dies, people walk away, leaving two people to part ways as nothing more than strangers. Sometimes, you want to fight it, to keep the relationship alive. But for people who came into your life for a reason, this will be unsuccessful, as the reason they came into your life has been fulfilled. All that is left now is for you to accept this and move on.

Some people came into your life for a SEASON. You met this person who made you laugh, cry and smile. They made you grow as an individual and shared memorable experiences with you. They made you believed anything is possible, and above all they brought you the greatest joy. A person who is meant to be in your life for a season has a mission, a goal to let you grow up and learn a lesson. Perhaps they teach you the joys of new friendship and love, and also the pain and heartbreak of broken friendship and love. When the season is over, this relationship will end causing you pain and sadness, but it is meant to be like this as that is how you will learn the lesson and grow up. The pain and heartache that they caused is why that particular person came to be part of your life for a season. The season may be filled with joys and happiness, but the lesson to be learnt comes from the sadness when this season ends.

Lastly, some people will come into your life for a LIFETIME. They are the reason you are here today after going through all the ups and downs of previous relationships. Lifelong friendships and lifetime relationship are hard to find. They only come into your life after you have learned all your lessons. They are the destination of happiness after going through the journey of finding these lifetime relationships.

So, are you a reason, a season, or a lifetime? 

Read More... A Reason, a Season Or a Lifetime

Stir - fried luncheon meat and potatoes

When I think of my most loved childhood lunch and dinner dishes, I think of this heavenly dish. My Indonesian maid (we hired maids in Malaysia) would cook it pretty often for lunch or even dinner. It is simply delicious when served with a side of rice, or even by itself. Sadly, as I grew up and moved to Australia, I have not eaten it for a very long time.

Luncheon meat is also known in the Western countries as "spam". I recently tried recreating this simple yet deliciously filling dish. The recipe is pretty straightforward with its two main ingredients: Luncheon meat (or spam) and potatoes. From here, you can add other ingredients as you wish, such as onions, celery, beans/baked beans, tomato sauce etc. Don't forget to add salt and pepper as well!

Stir - fried luncheon meat and potatoes

Ingredients
1 can of luncheon meat/spam (found in any Asian grocery store)
2/3 potatoes
Onions
Sesame oil
Salt & Pepper
Oyster sauce (optional)

1. Cut both the luncheon meat and potatoes into small cubes.
2. Microwave potatoes to soften it.
3. Fry both potatoes and luncheon meat in high heat, until brown.
4. Add in onions and fry until onions turn brown/golden.
5. Add in sesame oil, salt and pepper accordingly for taste.
6. Add in oyster sauce (optional) for extra taste.
7. Serve with rice.

Read More... Stir - fried luncheon meat and potatoes