A letter to my 16 year old self.

Dear 16 year old Michelle,

Hi there! There are a lot of things I want to tell you. I know you are feeling a little lost and sad right now being in a new school in Australia. You feel that you can't fit in, but its okay, as it will get better. I know you are being rebellious right now with Mum, but she is only looking out for you. So trust her as she has way more life experience than you. Some years down the line, you will really need her when you go through major life changes. Mum will also go through some heartbreak and difficulties, and during that time, please do be there for her and strive to put her feelings before yours. As for Gene, he will stay the same in the next few years. He will be all about the computer games, like any other boys his age. He will do very well in his studies though, especially during his VCE. He is a smart boy, so you don't have to worry about him. Also, tell Mum not to worry about him so much as you know how over-protective she can be.

I know you wonder about relationships and you are starting to notice boys. Don't you worry, you will go through many relationships and like most girls, you will make classic epic mistakes of being overly jealous, being clingy and needy and what not. My girl, you are still young and you still don't know what you want. You will go from relationships to another relationships before you learn from your mistakes. Half the time in these relationships, you will feel lonely and single. There is nothing wrong with walking away from a relationship that doesn't make you happy, rather than staying in it. Remember, its better to be single than be in a bad relationship. And, I know you really want to know about sex. My advise is to wait! Wait for as long as you meet the right guy because it will be all worth it. You probably feel scared and worried about love, relationship and sex. It's normal and reasonable to be scared but when the time is right, it would not be a big deal, trust me. Don't let peer pressure get to you either. There is nothing wrong with waiting because you are definitely worth it.

You will also meet new interesting people, gain new friends, and even lose old friends. You will meet people that will look down on you and overlook you. You will meet and read about people that inspire you. You will meet people that teach you lessons, and these people will bring out the best in you. You will even meet people who are really attracted to you. Don't fret about your looks. You are already beautiful. You may not think so now, but every year, you are going to feel more confident and show a lot more of your true self. Also, work on your inner beauty, personality ad character, as it will serve to be even more important than your outer beauty.

VCE will be a stressful time for you but you will get through it. Study hard and enjoy yourself at uni. Choosing a career will be tricky for you. Sometimes,  your goals will change and the career you thought you liked may not be what you want. But it will be exciting for you and take every opportunity that presents itself because not many people are as lucky as you. You will meet amazing friends at uni who will be like a brother or sister to you. They will all be different but that's the best part. By surrounding yourself with different people from different backgrounds, you learn from them and it will bring out the best in you.They will accept you as you are and be there for you. So don't change who you are to fit in with certain people, you yourself is enough. Don't push people that are important to you away, just because of stressful circumstances. When you get upset and scared in a situation, and your first instinct is to walk away and deal with the problems later, don't. It will make the problem worst later on. 

I will be lying if I tell you that your life will be perfect. It won't be easy and the next few years ahead will be filled with ups and downs. You will go through many changes in life and experience an array of emotions, but when you think it doesn't get better, it will. So my dear girl, lead a messy life and make countless mistakes. Go through ups and downs with a smile and thank everyday for the life you will lead and the people that you have.

Sincerely,

Michelle 

Read More... A letter to my 16 year old self.

What defines you?

What defines YOU?

What defines YOU as a person?

No, I'm serious, think about it for a minute.

Are you defined by your job, your status, or your lifestyle choices?

Is it your wealth or how much money you have saved up?

or is it something materialistic like how many luxury items you own?

or something aesthetic, like your weight, super curvy butt, long lean legs, or full lips?

or even your health and sexuality?

Is it the people around you, like your family, parents, boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse or friends?

or most commonly, does your past define who you are?

The people around you does not define who you are. Do you really need their affirmation or approval? Do you have to look to others for identity and a sense of belonging?

Because every time you look to others for approval, you miss the chance to define yourself. You start losing who you are and never get the chance to feel complete.

Your past does not define you. Mistakes, regrets and bad experiences do make up our past.

I, for one, has made mistakes and bad choices in many aspects of my life. I have harboured deep regrets for my actions and my words that have hurt others.

I have let my past defined who I am, and that has in turn determined my future, as I chose not to step out of that history. 

To be honest, this is an area where I struggled the most. I tend to blame myself for my actions but I have learned that my past does not define who I am. So don't let your past define you either. I know nothing can change what happened in your past or the pain you endured in your upbringing.

So what exactly defines YOU?

It's how you NOT let your past and history, and the people around you define you. When you choose to do something and step out of your past no matter who and no matter how the past has been, and not let it define how YOU live your life, that is how YOU are defined.

When you let go of any anger or resentment of how your life turned out, and choose to not give up, that is how YOU are defined.

When you accept your past and create new experiences for your future, that is how YOU are defined.

When you accept that not everyone is going to support you and you realize that you don't really need their approval, that is how YOU are defined.

Remember, you are the only person that can define who you truly are.

Read More... What defines you?

A Reason, a Season Or a Lifetime

This post was originally written in early 2013. Since it was published, it has became one of my most read post on this blog. Now I am republishing it as it was unknowingly removed.


"People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do."

This post was inspired by a poem titled "Reason, Season, or Lifetime" that I came across recently. It really struck a chord in me, as I felt that I could really relate to the poem. Have you ever met someone who initially you thought of as a stranger, or perhaps you see a person but kept walking without so much of a second glance. Perhaps their looks or appearance didn't interest you at that time, or perhaps you were in a hurry to get to some place at that moment. Now what if lets say, you somehow bumped into that same person again by chance, or you managed to speak and have a conversation with them. You talked about stuff, opened up about stuff, and got to know them more as a person and as an individual. Suddenly, this stranger that you once ignored became someone you care about, someone worthwhile and meaningful to keep in your life either as a friend, best friend, partners or lovers. 

You see, this person came into your life by chance for a REASON, but at this stage you don't know what that reason is. Perhaps, it is to meet a need that you have, provide some support that you need or teach a lesson that needs to be learnt. At that time, you don't really question what the reason is, you would just be enjoying their presence in your life. Nothing matters as you have someone in your life that you feel very lucky and grateful to have.

But this person wont last very long in your life. Maybe a disagreement, a fight or a mistake caused this relationship to end. Friendships ends, love dies, people walk away, leaving two people to part ways as nothing more than strangers. Sometimes, you want to fight it, to keep the relationship alive. But for people who came into your life for a reason, this will be unsuccessful, as the reason they came into your life has been fulfilled. All that is left now is for you to accept this and move on.

Some people came into your life for a SEASON. You met this person who made you laugh, cry and smile. They made you grow as an individual and shared memorable experiences with you. They made you believed anything is possible, and above all they brought you the greatest joy. A person who is meant to be in your life for a season has a mission, a goal to let you grow up and learn a lesson. Perhaps they teach you the joys of new friendship and love, and also the pain and heartbreak of broken friendship and love. When the season is over, this relationship will end causing you pain and sadness, but it is meant to be like this as that is how you will learn the lesson and grow up. The pain and heartache that they caused is why that particular person came to be part of your life for a season. The season may be filled with joys and happiness, but the lesson to be learnt comes from the sadness when this season ends.

Lastly, some people will come into your life for a LIFETIME. They are the reason you are here today after going through all the ups and downs of previous relationships. Lifelong friendships and lifetime relationship are hard to find. They only come into your life after you have learned all your lessons. They are the destination of happiness after going through the journey of finding these lifetime relationships.

So, are you a reason, a season, or a lifetime? 

Read More... A Reason, a Season Or a Lifetime

Stir - fried luncheon meat and potatoes

When I think of my most loved childhood lunch and dinner dishes, I think of this heavenly dish. My Indonesian maid (we hired maids in Malaysia) would cook it pretty often for lunch or even dinner. It is simply delicious when served with a side of rice, or even by itself. Sadly, as I grew up and moved to Australia, I have not eaten it for a very long time.

Luncheon meat is also known in the Western countries as "spam". I recently tried recreating this simple yet deliciously filling dish. The recipe is pretty straightforward with its two main ingredients: Luncheon meat (or spam) and potatoes. From here, you can add other ingredients as you wish, such as onions, celery, beans/baked beans, tomato sauce etc. Don't forget to add salt and pepper as well!

Stir - fried luncheon meat and potatoes

Ingredients
1 can of luncheon meat/spam (found in any Asian grocery store)
2/3 potatoes
Onions
Sesame oil
Salt & Pepper
Oyster sauce (optional)

1. Cut both the luncheon meat and potatoes into small cubes.
2. Microwave potatoes to soften it.
3. Fry both potatoes and luncheon meat in high heat, until brown.
4. Add in onions and fry until onions turn brown/golden.
5. Add in sesame oil, salt and pepper accordingly for taste.
6. Add in oyster sauce (optional) for extra taste.
7. Serve with rice.

Read More... Stir - fried luncheon meat and potatoes

If only for just a second.

I recently stumbled across this video that is truly inspiring and beautiful. It brought tears to my eye, that I just had to share it.

Mimi Foundation, a French charity told 20 cancer patients that they were going to get their hair and makeup done. All they needed to do was to close their eyes to make it more exciting. What they didn't know was that they would look completely silly. A camera is hidden behind the mirror to capture their's reaction when they opened their eyes for the big reveal, enabling the camera to capture a "moment of carefreeness" even for just a second.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMWU8dEKwXw

Read More... If only for just a second.

HIM :)

This year has truly been the most amazing year for me, especially since I met him. I remember vividly that he was wearing these funny looking shorts and a t – shirt, and he has this big mass of curly black hair. My first impression of him was that he seems cool. We had a disagreement when we first met over the direction to turn when doing the Copa, which we laugh about it now. Our first date shortly after that was in his opinion, an utter disaster. To be honest, I can’t remember what happened. Fortunately, our paths crossed again a couple of months later. This time, it was different. I gave it a chance and I’m so glad I did. We have been dating ever since.

He’s the only child in his family. He is very family – oriented and is especially close with his mom. His mom brought him up well, I could tell. He loves to travel and has traveled to America. Our earliest conversation involves stories of his experience in America. It makes him happy; it shows in the excitement in his eyes when he talks about it. He would proudly share the photos he took while he was in America and the places and food he experienced. 

Speaking of photos, he prefers to be the one taking the photos rather than being in the photos. His Facebook does not even have a single photo of him smiling for the camera. I would love to have a photo of him someday, because I think he’s absolutely handsome and I want to remember just how handsome he is. In future, I will definitely treasure any photos of him because I know it would be so rare. 

He has beautiful black curly hair that tends to stay the same in any weather. It's rather attractive, although I want his hair since I detest my flat straight hair. I especially love running my hands through his beautiful hair. His fashion sense is like Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother, it suits him really well. 

He loves to be challenged and wants his mind to be stimulated especially in his job. He’s really smart, and pretty much good in most things. He is hard working too, when he has work to do, he would dedicate a few hours just to do the work with minimal distractions. I admire that about him because I’m not like that. 

His favorite color is blue, but he doesn’t love it as much as I love purple. He’s also a very interesting person to talk to. I love it when he talks about things he is passionate about. I love our intellectual and funny conversations. I also love our childish conversations about anything and everything, despite him being a few years older than me; I don’t notice the age difference anymore. 

He’s funny, I mean really funny. He loves joking around, and doing some weird random accent or voice, which cheers me up when I’m sad. I find it cute, sometimes annoying. He’s weird too, in a good way. I enjoy being weird together with him. He’s very laidback and carefree. He doesn’t take life too seriously which is what I love about him. I get shy around him sometimes, he’s just so amazing. But I love seeing him smile when I say something weird, retarded or amusing. He has the most beautiful smile. A smile that just makes me melt inside every time. When he smiles, he looks younger and so good looking. 

He kisses me, everywhere; on the mouth, cheeks, hands; at the most random time. I love holding his hands; he has strong arms which makes me feel safe around him. He loves to cook too. I am not kidding when I say; he’s the BEST cook I know. He cooks the best dishes ever. I could eat his cooking everyday for the rest of my life, that’s how good it is. I feel lucky whenever he cooks for me, because it makes me happy. I love seeing him happy too because his happiness is my happiness, I truly believe in this saying. 

He texts me everyday even when he’s busy or when I’m busy just to show he’s thinking of me. He calls me most nights too, just to ask how my day was. He hates it when I get sad over something. When I’m sad, he’s sad. He is really good at resolving conflicts. He is very sensible, whereas I am highly emotional. He keeps me grounded. We do disagree on things because we both have our own opinions. We respect each other and come out a little stronger every time. He listens to me even when I don’t make any sense. 

I love his character and personality. I love his patience, during my good and bad days. I love him for who he is, and for who he wants to be, even if he has no idea who he wants to be yet. I love our friendship and companionship. I love spending time with him. I love just chilling and having a laugh with him. I love how comfortable I feel when in his presence. When I don’t see him, I really miss him and his company. I cannot imagine life without him now. I’m so glad I decided to give it a try because he really surprised me. 

He’s my better half. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me this year. And I can’t wait to see where this leads to, because whatever happens, I don’t regret it at all. 

Read More... HIM :)

BEAUTY TAG : GET TO KNOW ME

                          

I recently came across this tag on another blog and I thought it would be fun to do it. 

1. Is your hair naturally curly or straight?
   My hair is naturally straight, it does get a little wavy at the ends sometimes, but it's mostly straight.
2. What is your natural hair colour?
   I think it's black. I cannot remember the last time my hair was at it's natural hair colour because I have been colouring it for a while.
3. Do you dye it yourself or go to a salon?
   Both. I do it at the salon and sometimes do it at home. I prefer doing it at the salon by professionals so that I don't end up messing up or getting stains all over my neck and arm. 
4. How often do you wash your hair?
   Every other day. I have very oily hair roots and dry ends. I try to wash it less so that I don't dry out my hair. On my second day, I like to use a dry shampoo to soak up the oil and make the hair look at least decent. 
5. Do you wear the same style every day or change it?
   I don't really style my hair using straightener or curling iron. I just leave it straight, everyday. 
6. Do you do your own mani/pedi or go to a salon?
   I rarely wear nail polish. To be honest, I have no idea how to even apply them without causing a big mess. 
7. How often do you change your nail polish?
   Never, I think I wore nail polish about 3 times since the start of this year?!!
8. Do you polish your toes in the winter or just in the summer?
   I rarely polish my toes, as I'm very lazy. 
9. How long does it take you to put on your makeup?
   It depends on how long I have. Usually, I take about 15 minutes if I'm going to work. If I have more time, like over the weekend, I'll take a little longer. 
10. What do you do first, face or eyes? 
    I always do my face first, as I find doing my eyes first really weird. I heard that you should do your eyes first so that you can clean up any eyeshadow fall outs when you do your face.
11. Do you “collect” makeup or just buy what you need when you need it?
    I buy what I need, but I don't end up using it as often as I like. I'm trying to use up all I have right now. 
12. How often do you wear false eyelashes?
    Never as I think it would be very annoying behind my glasses!
13. Do you do a full face of makeup everyday?
    Not really, but I do wear powder, eyeliner and mascara everyday. If I feel like it, I'll add blush and eyeshadow. 
14. Do you wear makeup when you are home alone, or with family?
    No I don't, I find it weird wearing it at home. I tend to remove it as soon as I get home.
15. Will you leave the house without makeup?
    Yes I will. I do that when I go to the gym, or do groceries.
16. How many high end products do you have?
    Not alot. But I have started collecting high end products which I know I will love. My favourite high end brand is Benefit. 
17. How often do you wash your makeup brushes?
    I'm really bad at remembering to wash my brushes!! I wash it when I can remember to do it, which is like twice a month. 
18. Do you plan your OOTD every night or decide when you are getting dressed?
    I usually decide when I'm getting dressed.
19. How often do you change your handbag?
    I have two bags for everyday. One is a black bag from Target and the other is a lovely purple bag that was given to me by my mum. I alternate my bag between the two whenever I get bored. 
20. What time do you get up and go to sleep?
    I get up around 6.30-7am, and go to bed around 12-1am. 
21. How often or when do you work out? 
    I've been lazy in working out, even though I have a gym membership. When I'm not lazy, I do it around 2-3 times a week. 
22. Left-handed or right-handed?
    Right-handed.
23. How tall are you?
    I'm only 160cm, I think?
24. Do you speak a foreign language?
    Mandarin and Malay. But I'm horrible at both. 
25. How many pets do you have?
    I had one dog called Jaffa but we had to give him away when we moved house.
26. Do you read the comments posted on blogs?
    I do sometimes. I rarely check my blog, but when I do, I feel happy if someone has commented on it.
27. Do you keep a list of products to try as you see other posts?
    No I don't, unless I really really want it.
28. How did you come up with your blog name?
    My blog was originally called Cheeky Monster, but I recently changed it to Michelle L which is my name. I really like the new name. 
29. What kind of camera do you use for photographs?
    I use my Samsung S3 phone camera.
30. How often do you clean your room?
    I try to do it once a week.
31. What is your favourite colour?
    PURPLE!! 
32. Do you swear?
    Not really. I'm a good girl. 
33. What are you doing with the rest of your day?
    Well right now, I have work to do. 

Read More... BEAUTY TAG : GET TO KNOW ME