8 Things You Must Do When You Are Single

Being single should not be depressing and lonely. Being single should instead be celebrated because these are the times we find out who we are, before we eventually settle down. Here are 8 things you must do when you find yourself single:

1. Let it go
The first thing you must do is often the hardest, but it is the most crucial. Don't hang on to the past relationship. It ended for a reason so take time to self-reflect and evaluate what went wrong but don't keep dwelling on it. You have so much to live for, and you will only start feeling better after you finally let it go.

2. Learn to live alone
There is something refreshing and invigorating about being self-sufficient and living alone happily. Sure, it may be nice to have someone take care of you at times. But for now, you have got to learn to rely on yourself and be happy on your own, before finding someone that meet your needs. You will get to know yourself, what you like and dislike, and evolve as a person.
      
3. Spend time with couples
Going out with a couple can really help put things into perspective, especially married couples. It reminds you of what you are looking for in your next relationship. Watch them interact with each other and how they treat each other on a daily basis. Being single is the time to learn, and who better to learn from than other couples. Be happy for other couples/married friends and be satisfied in where you're at today. 

4.  Go out on dates
Being single doesn't mean you can't have fun. You deserve to go out and be wined and dined. Remember to keep it casual and don't jump into the rebound territory. Have fun, flirt and discover the opposite sex.

5. Be adventurous
We normally are tamed when we enter into a relationship, so singlehood should be the time to be bad and do things you never would do. Do things that make you feel young and carefree.
      
6. Concentrate on career or school
Take the energy that you would have spent on your relationship, and put it into your career or school. Take up extra projects at work, or concentrate on your school assignments. 

7. Improve yourself
Try to constantly improve yourself. If you are out of shape, work out. Change your hair color or hair style. Most importantly, it also means being more positive and open. Being more happy and less critical of yourself.

8. Look forward to the future
You never know what the future holds, so have fun and look forward to the future. Be opportunistic and seize the moment. Be grateful for your family and friends, and live life with no regrets. Always be positive because someone awesome will come along and you will be ready for them.

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8 signs he is not worth dating.

Ever been confused by a guy? After every date, you just feel more unsure and can't quite work out why. You like him, but you don't know if you want to date him. Here are some signs that he is not worth dating, and better yet, he is not worth your time.

1. He doesn't commit.
   You have no idea how he is feeling or even what he wants. He tries to avoid the topic every time you bring it up. He may not want to lose you altogether, but he is not serious about you either and wants to keep playing the field.

2. He doesn't plan.
    Girls love guys that plan dates, but yet sometimes a little bit of spontaneity is great too. If he only calls you at night asking you to come over for a drink, then you better run!!

3. He doesn't call.
    A call represents something more personal than just a mere text. If he is just texting you with messages and refuse to ever call you, it means he does not want to form a personal connection towards you.

4. He is not over the ex.
  We have all been there. We forget the fact that he just recently came out of a serious relationship and is still not over his ex. We hope that we can be the girl that is so unique and special that he finally moves on. Please don't settle to be the rebound. It's never fun and it will hurt your poor heart in the long run.

5. He needs attention to feel good.
   If he needs the attention and validation from other women constantly just to know that he still "got it", he is so not worth it. Guys like these will care more about making their ego happy, than making you happy.

6. He is needy and clingy.
  He needs to understand that you have a life, and he has a life too. Don't let a guy be all needy and control you, you might feel suffocated.

7. He doesn't ask about you.
If he just talks all about himself, and doesn't even ask "how are you", consider him done. A simple question like "how is your day" shows that he cares. If he doesn't care about you, why would you keep dating him?!

8. He only wants to have sex.
If all your dates involves somehow going back to his place, that is a huge red sign. Get out while you still can, unless you prefer the casual no-strings attached fling.


Note: This list can apply to women as well.

Read More... 8 signs he is not worth dating.

Things I wished I knew before I went to University

University is an exciting chapter in one's life. Even before one enters university, there are anticipations, nervousness and fears about how one would cope. Am I going to make friends? Will it be too hard? Am I ready?

But fear not, I am here to help you calm those nerves of yours and ensure that you are well prepared before taking the big step into university.

I have here some tips I wished I knew before I started my undergrad year, and hopefully it would serve you future scholars well.

1. Take a gap year.
    Don't rush into making that big decisions on what course to study/ what to major in, and which university to go to. If you are not sure what you want to do as a career, choosing a course your friends are doing or what your parents tell you to do is not the way to go. Think about it, who is going to spend the next couple of years studying the course? No one else but you. So make sure you have a good think and do not let anyone else influence your decision.

    If you feel that you are not ready to spend the next few years studying, then take a GAP YEAR. Take a year off. You deserve it. Go on an adventure, go backpacking overseas, do volunteer work. Take your time to find out where your interest and passion lies.

2. Make a lot of friends.
    University is the time to make friends. You will meet people from all sorts of background. Some may even be your lifelong friends. To meet people with similar interests as you, join a club. Join as many clubs as you want. Also, start building your network. Trust me, your network will serve to be a great tool to establish your future career.

3. Get help.
    Starting university means being in a new environment. Some people may not cope well especially in the few weeks. If you are struggling, seek help. Immediately. If you need help with any areas of your studies, ask for help. There will be specific people who would be able to help you depending on what you need help in. Take note of these key people when you attend your orientation.

Form study groups if you find yourself struggling to grasp the concepts of what you are learning, Study groups are amazing as you can share and discuss your ideas among your peers. Be wary about forming study groups with students who procrastinate and seem to enjoy socializing more than actually studying.
   
4. Participate in study tours.
    Take the opportunity to do a study exchange programs/tours overseas for a semester if its possible. This will most definitely make you stand out from the crowd, not to mention it would look amazing on your resume.

5. Get a part time job.
    Working while studying may seem counterproductive, but it is actually necessary to build up your working experience. With any part time job whether it be working at a fast food joint or as a strawberry picker, you will develop the skills and attributes of a good employee. These include skills in leadership, communication, planning or organisation.

6. Research the job opportunities in your field of study.
    Even though you just started your degree, start looking at what job ads in your field of study is looking for. Take note of the position requirements and start developing the skills they want.

7. Apply for graduate programs.
    During your final year, start applying for graduate programs. Do not wait until after you graduate to apply for graduate programs.

8. Avoid distraction.
    It is normal to procrastinate and get distracted at time. Try not to put yourself in a situation where it will impact your studies. For example, if you have an assignment due on Monday and you still have not started on it, attending that big party over the weekend may not be the best idea.

9. Enjoy every moment of it.
    Last but not least, enjoy university. It may be hard work, but it is worth it in the end.

Read More... Things I wished I knew before I went to University

Your Number One Deal Breaker

Everyone should have their own deal breakers, some characteristic or attribute of someone so significant enough for you to end the relationship or courtship. It can range from a lack of chemistry, different life values and goals, height difference, incompatibility, a smoking habit, or even different music tastes. I personally think it is necessary to have a few deal breakers. You need to know what you want and what you don't want, and deal breakers are a part of what you cannot put up with in a relationship and is not willing to settle for. There is nothing wrong with breaking it off because a guy/girl doesn't meet some expectations that are important to you. However, there is a difference between a couple of deal breakers and unrealistic expectations.

There is one deal breaker I think everyone should put on top of the list as it is the most important of all. I read somewhere a long time ago that you should look for someone who knows how to love well. 

Finding someone who knows how to love well seems pretty broad. But lets ask ourselves the big question, what is love? 

According to the most famous definition of love; "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs".

Therefore, to find someone who knows how to love well is to find someone who possesses all the following characteristics:

1. He/she must be patient

    Patience is a virtue. Having someone who is patient is hard to come by. There is nothing better than someone who is patient with you even when you are complaining about a bad day or in a bad mood.

2. He/she must be kind

    A person who is kind-hearted will put your needs above others, they will show empathy and relates to how other people feel and how their actions will affect others. 

3. He/she does not envy

   A little jealousy shows that they care, but too much jealousy can pose a big insecurity. If he/she is not easily envious, it shows that he/she has the maturity and is comfortable with being themselves.

4. He/she does not boast

   There is nothing worst than someone that enjoys boasting and feels the need to toot their own horns. If they are really that great, they should show you. There is nothing wrong with someone having high self-esteem but it is important for a girl/guy to be able to demonstrate a little bit of humility.

5. He/she is not proud

   Similar to being boastful, being proud is like being arrogant. There is a difference between feeling good about something you accomplished and thinking you are better than everyone around you. Would you put up with a guy/girl that thinks they are way better or way more successful than you?

6. He/she does not dishonor others

  To dishonor others is to bring shame and disgrace to others. You should always be proud of them and wanting to show them off to the world, rather than feeling humiliated and embarrassed with a guy/girl.

7. He/she is not self-seeking

   Being self-seeking is when someone is using you for their own personal benefit or interest, whether it be money, sex or something else. If someone is with you just for something they can gain from you, then they are being selfish and does not really love you for who you are.

8. He/she is not easily angered

   This is very similar to being patient. Having the occasional mood swing is fine, but if he/she is always finding faults with you, then you might want to rethink about the relationship.

9. He/she keeps no record of wrongs

   There is nothing worst than being with someone that keeps track of the number of times you stuffed up or even the number of arguments they won. Nobody is perfect. It is essential to find someone that loves you unconditionally, despite everything and does not use past wrong doings against you.

I also want to add that honesty and positivity/being ambitious are also essential traits for someone to know how to love well. If he/she is constantly lying and being negative, how are you going to trust them to take good care of you in future?

The other things like compatibility, chemistry, connection, goals and values are equally as important, but finding someone who knows how to love well should be the core of the relationship you want. 

So if someone wants to know "what's your type?", you should be able to answer without hesitation "someone who knows how to love well".

Read More... Your Number One Deal Breaker

My Asian roots

I remember distinctively one of my most meaningful conversations that I last had with my Mum and Dad occurred on New Years Day this year. It was the first day of the new year and I was driving Dad to the airport to drop him off for his flight back to Malaysia in the afternoon. On the way, all of us made a detour to Maccas (McDonalds) for a much needed breakfast. It was one of those rare moments that the three of us were sharing a meal together, even if it was a simple fast food meal.

As we ate, my Dad started advising me on job hunting and interview techniques on how best to answer interview questions. He told me that he would fully support me if I do decide to start further study on something else I might enjoy. I really appreciated him for telling me that and one of the reason he was such a great father was because he always emphasised the importance of education and higher studies for a better future. He, in itself is a success story; coming from a poor family, he made his way up to create a very successful life and career for himself.

The conversation then led onto how times have changed and kids these days don't uphold the same values that the kids had when my parents were growing up. It was honestly a surreal experience having both my parents laughing together. I would always keep those moments in my memories. During the course of the conversation, I learnt that my parents, mum especially fears that my brother and I may fully lose touch of our asian roots eventually. I, myself is proud to be asian and have never dreamt to be anyone else. I do regret not being able to learn how to speak Mandarin Chinese or Cantonese fluently, providing a language barrier between both my maternal and paternal relatives. I deeply regret not being able to get to know both my maternal grandmother and grandfather before they passed away. Even now, not being able to fully converse in Mandarin Chinese or Cantonese fluently sometimes makes me feel less of an asian.

Besides the language barrier, I was brought up the asian way. My childhood form of punishment was a huge long cane that was used whenever I misbehaved. Luckily, the scars I got from being beaten eventually faded away. If I used any swear words, my maternal grandmother would wash my mouth with soap, to "clean my mouth from the dirty word". I grew up eating rice for breakfast, lunch and dinner, which is why I am so used to eating rice on a daily basis. My parents worked all day to be able to provide for my brother and I. I grew up with countless Indonesian maids whom I grew very close to, which was the norm in Malaysia. They became the sisters I never had. My parents were busy working people, but managed to be amazing parents.

Even as I entered my awkward adolescent years with my occasional teenage acne, I was the typical asian nerd who spends way too much time in the school library. My parents paid for additional tuitions outside school hours, so I could strive in my studies. My dad even used monetary rewards as a form of motivation for getting As in all my studies. As a result, I was expected to be top in my class after every exam. I had curfews whenever I went out, which was pretty rare. Being able to date or worst, having a boyfriend was pretty much forbidden, eventually leading me to rebel against my parents by sneaking out and having massive fights when they found out.

In saying this, my asian childhood made me the person I am today. To me, I had an amazing childhood even though my parents were extremely strict. I learned to respect my parents by not answering back, and appreciate all the sacrifices that they have made for me. I still identify myself as an asian, and the asian values that I grew up with will always stay with me. I hope to one day instil that same values that I learnt to my future children.

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Does teaching means telling, and learning means listening?

Disclaimer: This article written is just purely based on my opinions and my insights.                                          

As Benjamin Franklin once said, "Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn."

The traditional context of teaching and learning back in the days involved the notion that teaching involves the teacher giving out instructions, and learning involves listening to the teacher. The classroom environment resembled some sort of dictatorship, where the teacher of the classroom acts as the ruler or authority figure of the classroom.

Nowadays, according to the modern classroom, this conception has been challenged with many years of extensive research by dedicated and experienced teachers into the pedagogy of teaching, which serves to be the science and art of teaching. Good teachers not only give out information to students, but they also encourage students to explore their own ideas and insights, engaging students and guiding them to think deeper about their thoughts. They also have the ability stimulate discussion based on students ideas, linking it back to the lesson topic or as they say, the bigger picture.The importance of asking open-ended and probing questions during class discussions is also highlighted in various research articles.

                                               

Effective teachers also know the role of quality learning for the students. They do not believe that learning only occurs when listening to a teacher. Learning can occur from various practical exercises such as group activities, assessments and reflection. Group activities in particular are found to be effective as it- encourages team work and collaboration among students, as well as the importance of leadership. The Think-Pair-Share learning strategy is commonly implemented in classrooms, where students are enabled to formulate their own individual ideas and share these ideas with their peers.

Another statement that highlights the importance of quality teaching is "Give a man a fish, you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you have fed him for a lifetime". Quality teaching does not mean just telling students information, and students will not learn just by listening. However, how teachers go about teaching to strengthen the learning of students are just as important. There is an extent to how much a teacher can teach, but by giving students or children the knowledge and the ability for them to help themselves, it serves to be useful for them in the long run.

I have had amazing teachers in the past and they have inspired and mentored me because of their ability to ensure that all students get quality learning based on their individual learning needs and learning styles. Through my own insights based on the amazing teachers that I have had, I believed that teaching is more than just giving out instructions to students, and quality learning does not involve just listening to the teacher.

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An Incredible Reminder of How Short Life Really Is

The recent devastating news of the missing Malaysia Airlines 777-200 that was operating flight MH370 between Kuala Lumpur and Beijing is an incredible reminder of how short life is and how the lives of your loved ones, next of kins, family and friends can be taken away in just a split second. 

The flight which departed Kuala Lumpur at 12.41am on 8 March 2014, with a total number of 227 passengers (including 2 infants) and 12 crew members on board was expected to land in Beijing at 6.30am the same day. Since the news of the tragedy which has generated international news coverage, there has been a lot of rumours and speculations on social media like Facebook as to what happened to Flight MH370 as search and rescue teams worked tirelessly to locate the missing plane. 

Did the plane crashed? Was there terrorism involved? How did airport security let two passengers board the plane using fake passports? What does the oil slick found in Vietnam waters indicate? How can a plane just disappear? Aside from the speculations, what about the families and friends of those passengers on board flight MH370? I cannot imagine how devastated by the news they must feel. To not know the whereabouts and the fate of their loved ones is just terrible for anyone to even go through. 

We often take our loved ones for granted, thinking that they would always be there like they are immortals and indestructible. The thought of losing someone so suddenly and so unexpectedly is frightening to say the least. It's almost unfair for all the passengers on board that flight with their loved ones worried sick about their safety. 

Do take a moment to think about the lives that these people left behind and the lives that they could have lived. Do remember that we as humans at times may be too embedded in our own lives with all our worries, responsibilities and commitments that we lose track of the bigger picture of life. 

Don't wait until tragedy struck to realize how important someone means to you. Don't hold grudges and don't let little things stress you out. Take it slow and let it go. Live life to the fullest and have no regrets. And please pray for the safety and wellbeing of those involved in the disappearance of flight MH370.

Michelle.

Read More... An Incredible Reminder of How Short Life Really Is

Sorry, I'm just not that into you.

I have a confession. I have a checklist of the qualities I want in an ideal partner. Cute?  Check. Has a career? Check. Mature? Check. Older? Check. Funny? Check. Great personality? Check. Patient? Check. Kind? Check. Has a great body? Check. And double check. But that's just part of my list, your list would most likely be a little different depending on who you are and what you like.

Like a lot of girls, I would start dating a guy with a carefully and thoughtfully constructed checklist at the back of my mind, ready for me to tick off. In addition to the checklist, there needs to also be connection, chemistry and compatibility above all. Whether I care to admit, I have found myself lowering my standards and expectations at times. Realizing that finding a partner that tick all the boxes on my "checklist" is unattainable, I started settling.

Sure, he has nice eyes and seems interested. He makes me laugh. Who cares if he never had a job? Who cares if he plays computer games all day? I can live with that. I can change that. I can totally support and take care of him..?

Wow this guy is super hot and a total babe. He is also an absolute genius. We get along great but I am still not attracted to him. But I don't want to lose him. Maybe my attraction will grow if I keep seeing him..?

Sound familiar?

So I put my worries and confusions aside and keep seeing him, forcing myself to be comfortable with him and develop feelings. I almost feel guilty that I'm pretty much lying to myself. I'm living a lie and he needs to know the truth before he gets hurt.

It's hard and distressing to convince myself that he is really the best guy for me when I know in my heart he isn't and I can do so much better. I like the idea of him, just not him as a person. The hardest part of it all is for me to find the strength to have the "I'm just not that into you" talk and to walk away alone. He deserved someone that really truly likes him, rather than someone that still isn't sure.The infamous response of "I thought we had something special" and "I guess I misunderstood everything" is predicted. "You are just like the rest of them", that one really hurts. It's hard, but I won't settle for less.

Read More... Sorry, I'm just not that into you.