I remember distinctively one of my most meaningful conversations that I last had with my Mum and Dad occurred on New Years Day this year. It was the first day of the new year and I was driving Dad to the airport to drop him off for his flight back to Malaysia in the afternoon. On the way, all of us made a detour to Maccas (McDonalds) for a much needed breakfast. It was one of those rare moments that the three of us were sharing a meal together, even if it was a simple fast food meal.
As we ate, my Dad started advising me on job hunting and interview techniques on how best to answer interview questions. He told me that he would fully support me if I do decide to start further study on something else I might enjoy. I really appreciated him for telling me that and one of the reason he was such a great father was because he always emphasised the importance of education and higher studies for a better future. He, in itself is a success story; coming from a poor family, he made his way up to create a very successful life and career for himself.
The conversation then led onto how times have changed and kids these days don't uphold the same values that the kids had when my parents were growing up. It was honestly a surreal experience having both my parents laughing together. I would always keep those moments in my memories. During the course of the conversation, I learnt that my parents, mum especially fears that my brother and I may fully lose touch of our asian roots eventually. I, myself is proud to be asian and have never dreamt to be anyone else. I do regret not being able to learn how to speak Mandarin Chinese or Cantonese fluently, providing a language barrier between both my maternal and paternal relatives. I deeply regret not being able to get to know both my maternal grandmother and grandfather before they passed away. Even now, not being able to fully converse in Mandarin Chinese or Cantonese fluently sometimes makes me feel less of an asian.
Besides the language barrier, I was brought up the asian way. My childhood form of punishment was a huge long cane that was used whenever I misbehaved. Luckily, the scars I got from being beaten eventually faded away. If I used any swear words, my maternal grandmother would wash my mouth with soap, to "clean my mouth from the dirty word". I grew up eating rice for breakfast, lunch and dinner, which is why I am so used to eating rice on a daily basis. My parents worked all day to be able to provide for my brother and I. I grew up with countless Indonesian maids whom I grew very close to, which was the norm in Malaysia. They became the sisters I never had. My parents were busy working people, but managed to be amazing parents.
Even as I entered my awkward adolescent years with my occasional teenage acne, I was the typical asian nerd who spends way too much time in the school library. My parents paid for additional tuitions outside school hours, so I could strive in my studies. My dad even used monetary rewards as a form of motivation for getting As in all my studies. As a result, I was expected to be top in my class after every exam. I had curfews whenever I went out, which was pretty rare. Being able to date or worst, having a boyfriend was pretty much forbidden, eventually leading me to rebel against my parents by sneaking out and having massive fights when they found out.
In saying this, my asian childhood made me the person I am today. To me, I had an amazing childhood even though my parents were extremely strict. I learned to respect my parents by not answering back, and appreciate all the sacrifices that they have made for me. I still identify myself as an asian, and the asian values that I grew up with will always stay with me. I hope to one day instil that same values that I learnt to my future children.
