To be or not to be afraid?

If I can sum up my week in one word, it would be FEAR. More specifically, fear of any new changes. I found myself living in a new environment, embarking on further study in a new university and having to deal with the overwhelming amount of new responsibilities bestowed upon me. With these changes in such a short amount of time, I felt lost, at times uncertain and doubtful; and familiarity quickly became something I crave.

To put it simply, how many of us has let our fears hold us back? Are we afraid of adapting to changes? Are we afraid to venture into the unknown? Are we afraid to live in uncertainty? Are we afraid of starting something new?

To point out, the words "fear" "afraid" are found in most or all the questions above. To put it rationally, fear and afraid are synonymous, and both these terms are closely associated to making changes or venturing into the unknown. We can easily let fear affect our decisions in all aspects of our lives, that is the fear of leaving a comfortable job to pursue your dream career, the fear of being alone and never finding someone better, the fear of being looked down upon, or even the fear of rejection or failure. For many of us, fear has affected our lives in a way at some point in the past or even now.

One advice that I learnt this week that has helped me tremendously is to Be brave, step outside our comfort zone, and make changes. Our 20s especially is the time for exploring, finding out more about ourselves and the sort of person we want to be. Most importantly, it is viewed upon as the time to make fundamental changes for the better and grow into the person that will hopefully inspire our children and future generations. As terrifying as it may seem,  we should step outside our comfort zone, and lead life by our rules, not by the rules inflicted upon us by society. Sometimes, choosing to face the uncertainty and embracing the change for ourselves means that we are the strong ones. The unknown is filled with many possibilities and if ever we do hit rock bottom because of a bump in the road, it will only get better.

So are you afraid of change or do you embrace it?

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If I were to look perfect

This post was inspired by a Youtube video I recently watched. Four women were asked to participate in a Photoshop experiment. Each woman took part in a photoshoot and their photos were photoshopped to look like cover models.

After watching the video, I find myself wondering; given the chance to look perfect, what would I look like?

Let's see: 
I would have longer legs and smaller hips.
I would have long thick shiny hair.
My skin would be flawless and makeup would be perfect.
My eyebrows arched perfectly and my cheekbones would be chiseled.

The video above sends a very powerful message to everyone out there.

Stop being so hard on yourself.

Stop being so critical.

Stop comparing yourself to everyone.

You are different. Embrace it.

As stated by one of the women in the video, "Once someone else has done your makeup and someone else has done your hair, and someone has directed the way your body looks and then taken away your imperfections, then there's not much left of who you really are."

This video has really taught me not to be too critical on myself and to be comfortable in who I am. To measure my happiness and success by how I look would be superficial and disappointing.

I am not supermodel thin nor am I athletic. I don't have perfect skin or the most defined face. I get pimples and I have acne scars. I am short sighted. I have short and straight eyelashes.  I can be awkward and quirky. My eyes squint when I smile. You know what, its okay.

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Being the naive one

Apparently, I’ve been told I am naive.

As in, I would believe anything and everything that people tell me, and I am most likely to be taken advantage off. Naive is generally not meant to be complimentary. I’m young, yes. Naive, maybe. You see, I see the good in all people. If someone has done me no wrong, I would never say a mean word about them. I am generally a happy and positive person. Yes, I am well aware of the evil, cruel world outside and that you cannot trust anyone on the street besides your family. The newspaper, TV and radio are constantly filled with sad negative stories everyday. Yes, I am well aware of all this.

But I choose to see the sunny side of things. I’ve learned to see the good in person from all walks of life. I know when I am being taken advantage off and I know when to walk away from these people. If I sense that someone is being manipulative and deceiving, I would keep my guard up and stay closed off.  I know I still have ALOT to learn and perhaps, life will throw me a few curveballs. But I would never stop seeing the good in people because sometimes we should focus on the positive side of things.

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Falling in love; and finding the one

Many of us dreams of finding someone, falling in love and living happily ever after. It embodies the likelihood of how successful and happy you will be in life. The phrase “behind every great man, there’s a great woman” explains that for every success that you achieved in life, it would be through the support and encouragement of your spouse or partner in life. To have that special someone, be it man or woman, gay or straight, sharing your life and dreams, and being your biggest support in helping you achieve your goals/dreams is our society’s epitome of finding happiness.

The notion of falling for someone or even finding the one is scary for some or even absolutely absurd for the skeptics or non believers. The thought of finding the elusive “one”, you know, the one you can’t imagine life without, the one who makes you happy, the one you can imagine growing old with, the one you want to marry, the one you want to have children with, may seem unattainable for a lot of people. One lesson I’ve learnt from watching How I Met Your Mother, is that it takes a lot of patience and to never lose hope. For the main character Ted Mosby, it was worth the wait (9 seasons to be exact). What I’m trying to say is that we should try to be Ted Mosby once in a while; date around, get your heart broken, make mistakes, be crazy, discover yourself, follow your dreams, and not wait around for the person to pop up into your life. As the saying goes, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince.

So after a lot of waiting, you met someone. He or she seemed nice which is great. Casual dates turned into romantic nights, which lead to weekend getaways and before you know it, you realized you are falling in love with them and you cannot imagine life without him or her. So now you wonder, what’s the next step? Is it time for a serious commitment like moving in, engagement or marriage? This begs the question, how do you know you found the one? For many, it could be a specific moment, a feeling or an action of your significant other that reinforces you like a lightbulb going off in your head. During that time, it feels right. When you know, you just know. Taking the next step is no longer scary or uncertain anymore, and you can look towards a future with them without any fear. Suddenly, the amazing connection you share with them and the life you have created together makes perfect sense.

Despite the skeptics, finding the one is possible. Life is beautiful when you are busy enjoying it by yourself, but having that special person in your life makes life more beautiful. So when you come across someone in your life that makes you happy, that makes you stronger, wiser and a better person, that wants the best for you, that is there for you always, don’t question if they are the one.

Because if they are the one, you will just know. 

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Girls should date funny guys

Guys are funny creatures. They make us girls melt, they make us cry, they make us mad, they make us do outrageous things no reasonable person would do. Yet, us girls can't get enough of the male species.

My favourite among them are the funny ones. Yes, I admitted it.

No not the ones where you fake an awkward laugh when they make you feel rather uncomfortable, or the ones where you just laugh because what they are saying does not make any sense and faking a laugh seems like the only thing to do. I meant the genuinely funny guys who says the funniest things or does the weirdest things, yet make it look very entertaining. They know how to crack me up until my cheeks burn.

Yes, I would date funny guys.

Funny guys can make me laugh. They make first dates less awkward and actually fun. They keep the conversation going and I feel more like myself around them. Funny guys can impress me with their wit and charming nature, making me enjoy their company. 

Laughing is really the best medicine. Laughing makes everyone feel good from the inside. I know how it feels to be out on a date with a guy with no sense of humour, or worst, a different sense of humour. It's not fun. Sure he may look handsome and all, but funny guys has all my attention.

Would you date a funny guy?

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